EFT


Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a simple technique to learn, easy to apply and a valuable tool to have.  Please don’t be deterred by the size of this page. While the technique is easy to learn, there is a lot I have to say about how to make it more potent and even more valuable.

Really, if you just watched the videos below and went from there, you’d have enough knowledge to start using this technique.  But there is SO much more to it than that.  Like peeling layers from an onion, the more you learn about how to unearth the layers of yourself, the more value there is.  That’s why I’ve taken the time to put all I know here to help you go further with this technique (with special thanks to Peter Graham for his workshops and my learning, where much of this material has originated).  Read, watch, learn and apply. I hope you find this technique as valuable as I do.


History of EFT

Psychologist Dr Roger Callahan was working with a client called Mary, who had a phobia of water. He had been working with her for over a year with very little headway. At the same time, he was researching the body’s meridians and acupressure points. During one session he asked Mary where she felt this fear of water in her body and she replied, “my stomach”. Remembering that a point just under the eye related to the stomach meridian, Dr Callahan asked Mary to tap on this point. Mary tapped on this point and her fear disappeared. This happened over 30 years ago, and Mary’s fear of water never came back. Following this incredible discovery, Dr Callahan furthered his research into the body’s meridian system and developed a series of algorithms or sequences for tapping different acupressure points for different issues. If you were experiencing fear, you tapped the specific points in a fear sequence. If you were experiencing anxiety, then another sequence of body acupressure points was used. This technique is called Thought Field Therapy, or TFT.

One of Dr Callahan’s students was Gary Craig. He believed you didn’t need to use multiple different algorithms. He simplified the method to a single sequence of tapping points. He believed it was the tapping of the points that was important, and not the sequence of points that you tapped. He called this Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and gave this technique freely to the world.

In a nutshell, EFT is a process of isolating an issue that is causing you some distress, and then tapping on specific points on the body (acupressure points) while focusing on that issue.

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Why I love EFT

  • Easily self-applied (by adults and children, and can be used on animals)
  • Easy to learn (by both adults and children)
  • It can be fast
  • Useful for emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual problems
  • Gentle
  • Private
  • Inexpensive
  • Fun
  • Empowering and transformative
  • Portable – it can be done anywhere, anytime. It can even be done mentally.
  • There is a lot of free information available on the internet to help you go further
  • There are some terrifically skilled practitioners who can help you go deeper
  • It works, even if you don’t believe it can
  • There is no such thing as wrong tapping, only no tapping – it’s a very forgiving technique
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Introduction to EFT

There is some excellent material on The Tapping Solution . I can also highly recommend Nick Ortner’s book “The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living.”

What Is Tapping? with Nick and Jessica Ortner

The Tapping Points

How to Tap with Jessica Ortner: Emotional Freedom Technique Informational Video

A map of the points can be found with more explanation can be found here.

Gwenn Bonnell EFT Shortcut2

A very big thank you to Gwenn Bonnell for allowing me to use her tapping chart.  Visit Gwenn at Tap Into Heaven which also has a lot of great EFT information to further your knowledge.

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Tapping in a Nutshell

Choose your most pressing problem.

1. Choose your most pressing problem.
2. Rate this problem on a scale of 0-10 (the Subjective Units of Distress or SUDs level)
0 = no problem, 10 = maximum distress
3. Design a setup statement to match the problem:
“Even though (problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
4. Tap on the karate chop point while saying three rounds of this setup statement.
5. Using a reminder phrase (a short portion, or phrase that is a reminder of your setup statement), tap through the EFT points, approximately seven times on each point, saying this reminder phrase out loud. Start with the eyebrow point and finish at the top of the head.
6. Take a deep breath and re-evaluate your SUDs level.
7. The problem may have shifted; another emotion/feeling/scene etc may have come up so target the next round of tapping on this new aspect; a new setup statement or a new reminder phrase.

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“Problem, Problem – What Problem?”

What’s bugging you, making you feel uncomfortable – what is your problem or issue?

The problem can be looked at from multiple levels:

  • physical (pains, rashes, migraines, allergies etc)
  • emotional (emotions, feelings)
  • mental (limiting thoughts, beliefs, the mental image of yourself) or
  • spiritual (past life issues, genealogical issues)

Any problem could have aspects on all levels. For example, you have a pain (physical), you feel angry about this pain (emotional), you believe you deserve the pain (mental), and this always happens to members of your family (spiritual).

So, you have an issue, a problem, something that is bugging you and causing you distress. You don’t like it, it makes you feel bad, or perhaps it’s painful. This is the “problem” or “issue”, and I’ll interchange those words throughout. This is the “what’s up?” and this is what we aim the EFT process at. Having said that, even if you can’t identify what you want to work on, know that EFT will work even if you just tap – perhaps not as quickly – but it may give you the space to allow a more defined concept to bubble up to your consciousness. See more on this below.

Probably the most important aspect of EFT is to identify and clarify whatever is coming up NOW. Don’t try to interpret the problem from the standpoint of how you felt at the time of the incident; “when this happened (some time ago) I felt (emotions, feelings) when it happened”.

EFT is about tapping on “while this may have happened (in the past), right NOW I feel (emotions, feelings) about it.”

The problem can be any of the following:

  • An impulse
  • A negative or unhelpful attitude
  • A right-now issue
  • An unwanted feeling
  • An unwanted identity
  • An emotion
  • A bodily sensation
  • Old decisions and solutions
  • A limiting or negative belief
  • Troublesome “entities”
  • A distressing visual image
  • Unresolved upsets and traumas (unresolved experiences)
  • Unwanted physical symptoms

Whatever comes up with EFT, you don’t need to understand what it means, you don’t need to get involved, interpret or try to change it – in this process you are the “observer”. Just trust the process, tap, and observe what comes up. Being present throughout the process is possibly the most important aspect of EFT.

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Let’s get a bit Technical

EFT, while a relatively new technique it is based on the ancient Chinese Medicine theory of meridians and combines this with modern psychology to help clear emotional, mental, physical and spiritual issues, while tapping on points on the body, known as acupoints, which are located on the meridian pathways on the body.

The human body consists of 14 main energy pathways (meridians) that carry energy into, through and out of your body, feeding energy to the organs and affecting every physiological system (nervous, immune, circulatory, respiratory, digestive, skeletal, muscular, endocrine). Donna Eden calls the meridians the body’s “energy bloodstream.” (Page 111 of Energy Medicine).

Where the energy from the meridians come close to the surface, it is known as an acupoint or acupressure point, and physical stimulation of these points (via needles or finger pressure) allows us to gain access to the energy of the meridian to effect change to the body.

Research has been conducted that shows there is a definite difference between acupuncture and non-acupuncture points.

Thankfully you don’t need to know which meridian you are using, or even why you stimulate an acupoint on the body. The process of EFT works regardless of your knowledge of the body, the meridians, or the acupoints.

While the body of evidence is growing and substantiating EFT as an effective technique for mind and body related issues, the exact mechanism of why tapping works is still disputed. However, the general consensus is that tapping seems to disrupt the body’s stress response to allow a healing response to occur.

If you would like to look more deeply into the growing body of scientific research, please go to the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP)

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Experiences, Interpretations and Responses

Interpretations2

Life is full of experiences, our interpretation of the experiences, and our responses to these experiences. If our responses are repression, denial, resistance, unconsciousness, then the price we pay is for it to remain unresolved and we can be triggered repeatedly.

Our interpretation of events is filtered through our perceptions, and our perspective on life is as unique as our thumb print.

This perspective, or “the way you look at the world” can be influenced by:

  • Your gender
  • Your family position
  • Society values
  • Your values
  • Your beliefs
  • Your culture
  • Your religion
  • Your age
  • Your race
  • Your economic situation
  • Your past experiences

The beauty of EFT is that you can tap on one or all parts of this process:

  • The experience e.g. “I saw this woman have an accident”
  • Your interpretation of the experience “e.g. “life is dangerous for women”
  • Your responses e.g. “I am not safe in this world because I am a woman”

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How Bad?

In order to see if you are making any progress working on your issue, before any tapping starts it pays to rate the issue on a scale of 0 – 10, called the Subjective Units of Distress, or SUDs. 0 means you feel completely neutral about the issue – effectively there is no issue. 10 means you are in complete distress, feeling very uncomfortable, in great pain, or in great panic. I would suggest you seek out a trained practitioner if your level of distress is this high.

If working with children, another way of asking “how bad is it?” is to ask the child to spread their arms out wide to indicate the level of “badness”. Arms out as far as they can go, and you know the situation isn’t good. For those kids who like visuals, another option would be to have a series of images, for example starting from a happy face (SUDS = 0) to a really distressed crying face (SUDS = 10).

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Let’s Set This Up

EFT starts with what is known as the Setup Phrase. It consists of variations of “Even though I have this (issue/problem), I deeply and completely accept myself”.

If saying “accept myself” is a no-go zone, this part of the statement can be tailored as necessary to your level of comfort. Suggestions might be “Even though I have this issue, I accept that I have this issue” or “Even though I have this issue, I accept how I feel”, or possibly “Even though I have this issue and I hate having this issue, I accept myself, even if I don’t want to”!

There really is a lot of scope in this setup phrase, so match it to how you are feeling right NOW.

Also, it is useful to use your voice to accurately convey the level of emotion you have around the issue. Saying in a meek voice “Even though I have this issue….”, when in fact you are feeling full blown rage will not be as effective as if you say “Even though I have this #%$# issue, and I #%$# hate that I have this #%$# issue…” Get the point? Be truthful about how you feel. You’ll be more likely to get some movement on the issue.

The problem is just the problem. It is how you feel about having this problem that is the issue.

We all have experiences. Our reactions to those experiences are based on our beliefs and values, and it is those reactions that can create negative events that get stuck in our system. While two people may experience the same event, how they interpret that event will depend entirely on their view of it, filtered through their belief system and their perspective. You can see why the police need to take statements from everybody at a crime scene. Each person at that crime scene may have seen the same event, but they may have been in a different emotional state at the time and interpreted what they saw completely differently. Someone there may have been emotionally traumatised because it reminded them of something very negative that had happened in their past. Another person, with no such history, didn’t get the same reaction.

When you are dealing with the problem, always use your own self-talk. Don’t censure yourself about how you should feel about the problem; how you should act as a result of having the problem, how other people will see you as a result of having the problem. All of that is of no consequence. What is important is how that problem affects you now. Right now, not yesterday, not last week, NOW. What do you feel now about having this problem?

The Setup Phrase can be said in your head, but is best said out loud, with emphasis, for 3 times, while continuously tapping on the karate point.

But why this Setup Phrase?

While some methods like Simple Energy Techniques have dropped this Setup Phrase, there is a useful purpose to including it in EFT. I do EFT both with and without the Setup Phrase. Personally, I like using the Setup Phrase – it feels like I am setting the scene for some work to unfold:

1. You get to name the issue, bringing it consciously to mind, and bringing yourself into the NOW, the present. It sets your intention to work on the issue. However, if the emotion is very intense, you already have the issue present, so in situations like this, the setup phrase becomes less important.

2. You allow some self-acceptance to occur with the affirmation (“I accept myself”). Internal criticisms and judgements and self-disapprovals create internal conflict and can slow down or block the EFT process.

Listen carefully to your inner talk when you say an affirmation. Any internal messages of “that’s ridiculous, that’s not me, I can’t say that” become fodder to work on as part of your on-going quest for emotional freedom.

Peter Graham suggests starting off with the standard affirmation for a few rounds, and then when it appears that the attachment to the judgement against the affirmation has shifted slightly, consider using:

Even though a part of me has this feeling…” or moving from “Even though I have this belief…” to “Even though a part of me has this belief…” He also suggests alternating the Setup Phrases – starting with the standard one for several rounds, and then alternating with one which includes “part of me”.

Experiment. There is a lot of movement and experimentation that can be tried within this Setup Phrase. Importantly – there is NO right or wrong way of doing it. Don’t deny yourself the chance to have some emotional freedom because you feel you won’t do this process correctly. Give yourself the gift of trying this strange technique and be open to whatever happens.

3. Tapping on the karate chop point or rubbing the sore spot (an alternative starting point, not used in the most recent variation of EFT) can correct polarity reversal, also known as psychological reversal. It’s like having the positive and negative of a battery around the wrong way. Things just won’t work. It can be caused by self-defeating, negative thinking, and it often occurs subconsciously and therefore outside of your awareness. If there are secondary gains (see below), then consider psychological reversal.

There are additional exercises for working with Polarity Reversal, but if you are interested in knowing more, I recommend you go to the book “Tapping the Healer Within” – by Roger Callahan.

What if you can’t articulate what you are feeling right NOW – you can’t really identify what to tap on; you can’t even put into words what the problem is? We have a great need to know “why” and this can get in the way of the EFT process.

If you are struggling with naming the problem or getting into the feel of the problem, then just try tapping on the points, staying present, and see if something comes up. Maybe as you tap, an image of something will come to mind that you could work on. Or, you could say “Even though I can’t name this problem, it feels unsafe to express this….”

Or, quite incredibly, you can Make it up / Guess / Imagine / Pretend! Tapping works when you make up an issue and it also works when you tap along with another person who is tapping on their own issue, a process called “Borrowing Benefits”. Hopefully you are starting to realise how adaptive and useful this EFT process is.

With whatever comes up with EFT, you do not need to understand what it means; you don’t need to get involved, to interpret or to change it. Just trust the process, even if it makes no sense. This may cause you to have strong feelings, so you might have to tap on “Even though I’m not sure and I don’t like being not sure…” or “Even though I don’t know what this means, and I don’t like not knowing what this means…”

Let go of having to be right, or to get the correct answer, or even to achieving anything. Just do the tapping and see what happens.

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The Rules – no let’s call them Guidelines

Thankfully EFT is an incredibly accommodating technique. You might not tap exactly on the right point, you might not know exactly what to say or maybe you don’t believe in the process. Tapping can still get results. However, to get the best from EFT there are a couple of guidelines.

1. Be Present (always focus on how you are feeling, experiencing, noticing NOW)
2. Be Specific (see below)
3. Be Persistent (tapping for 1 minute is unlikely to solve a 20-year-old issue!)
4. Test, Test, Test (see below)
5. Have a playful “no attachment to the outcome” state of mind

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Let’s be Specific – Aspects (an example)

Imagine you have a phobia – let’s say a fear of spiders. You might start tapping on “Even though I have this fear of spiders, I deeply and completely accept myself.” This is called a global statement – or general statement. You do some rounds of tapping, and you feel a bit better, but perhaps not much better.

Photo – Tracy Stoves

So, let’s dig a bit deeper. What is it about spiders you don’t like? You realise it is the look of them. So, you start another round of tapping “Even though I don’t like the look of spiders ….” (a more specific statement, although still quite global). You feel a bit better now. Thinking of spiders doesn’t freak you out as much. You could quite easily think at this point “great, no more spider phobia”. However, you are not allowing yourself the benefit of being completely free of the spider phobia. Allow yourself the space to question if that is the only thing about spiders that you don’t like. Perhaps it is how they move, or their hairiness or that they can bite. Maybe you got bitten by a spider, so your fear is very real. You might even take the statement further and say, “Even though I don’t like the way spiders look, with their black hairy skinny legs….”

Each of these things that you don’t like about spiders (“the problem” in this example) is called an “aspect. Aspects are what you need to focus your tapping on. You identify the different aspects about spiders that cause you distress and tap for each one.

Gary Craig uses the analogy of a table. Imagine the table top as the problem. Each leg represents part of, or an aspect of, the problem. You tap on one aspect (leg), the leg crumbles because it no longer makes sense to you and you get some relief, but the table still stands. You tap on another aspect (leg), the leg crumbles and the table (problem) starts to get unstable. You tap on some more aspects (legs) and eventually the table (problem) can’t support itself anymore and collapses.

Because some problems have many aspects to them, they can take much longer to resolve. However, some aspects have a bigger weight than others, so EFT may move quicker if you identify the most pressing aspects. Interestingly, you do not need to identify all aspects of a problem for the problem to resolve. Once a tipping point has been reached, often the other aspects appear to “dissolve”.

So, how do you get specific? You, question, question, question!

TheProblem
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Questions, Questions, Questions!

EFT is most effective when the original incident that caused all the distress is found. While good gains can be made when global questions are aimed at the problem, best results are obtained when detailed questions are asked, and a specific or core event is identified. One way of getting specific is to ask questions – lots and lots of questions. Another way is to ask the same question over and over, each time looking deeper for an answer.

“I keep six honest serving men: They taught me all I knew: Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who”. – Rudyard Kipling

The Problem

There are no right or wrong questions. However, I’ve identified some questions that may help you be more specific. Read through them and if any jump out at you, mark them and use them in the tapping process. You don’t need to do all of them!

If you are unable to identify specific aspects, do 3 rounds of the basic recipe (we’ll talk more about this below) for “this feeling” or “this problem” once per day for 30 days. The subconscious has a way of bringing up what is necessary. Or, if you cannot recall a specific event, then make it up! This “made up” event is not really a complete fiction because it comes from within you and, in many cases, contains aspects that are otherwise difficult to access.

In some cases, especially if there is a lot of safety issues around a problem, it may be necessary to ask global questions first, to “take the edge off” before moving to more specific questions.

For all these questions, insert the relevant feeling, sensation or energy that you are conscious of now. I thank Peter Graham who many of these questions have come from.


Where Questions

“If you feel ( ) where (in your body) do you feel this ( )?”
“Where in your life is this impacting?” (relationships, health, financial, social, work)
“Where (name a place) did this occur?”
“If you are ( ), where did you first feel this ( )?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a position, where is it?”
When using this line of questioning, keep referring back to determine if the position has changed.
“Where does this belief come from?”
“Where did I learn this?”


What Questions

“What is the problem?”
“What happened just before this problem arose?”
“What does it feel like to have this problem?”
“What made you feel ( )?”
“What does that mean for you?”
“What about the problem bothers you the most?”
“What else about the problem bothers you?”
“What does that remind you of?”
“What else does this remind you of?” Is there a specific event related to that?
“If this ( ) in your body has a colour, what colour is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a feel/texture, what feel/texture is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a form, what form is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a movement, what movement is it doing?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a shape, what shape is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a size, what size is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has an area, what area would it cover?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a smell, how would you describe that smell?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a taste, how would you describe that taste?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a mood/emotion, what mood/emotion is it?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a sound, what sound does it make?”
“If this ( ) in your body has a temperature, what temperature is it?”
When using this line of questioning, keep referring back to determine if the colour, shape, size etc has changed. Ask “Is it…(changing)?”

(Another good question at this point is “How do you know it is….?”

“What is the impact of that problem to you?” (relationships, health, financial, social, work)
“What is/are the consequences of having this problem?”
“What would you be focusing on if you didn’t have this problem?” Let’s face it – our “problems” are distracting.
“What made you most intense?”
“What did that bring up in you?”
“What is coming up now?”
“What emotions and feelings (and/or thoughts and beliefs) are connected with this problem?”
“What is the first thing that came up in you?”
“What memory would you rather not have?”
“What are you observing now?”
“What are you feeling now?”
“What are you experiencing now?”
“What are you sensing now?”
“What are you aware of now?”
“What makes the problem better?”
“What makes the problem worse?”
If you have a fear, ask yourself “fear of what?” If you have anger, ask yourself “anger at what?”
“What is it about the SUDs rating that makes it a (e.g. 5)?” That is, if you give your intensity rating a 5, why is it a 5, what about it makes it a 5, how do you know it is a 5?
“What is there in my life now to bring this problem on?”
“What (incident) taught me this?”
“What do I want to change?”
“What is the block to this change?”
“What is the downside to this change?”
“What am I afraid of?
“What is possible?”
“What did I learn from this?”
“What is the intensity of the problem?”
“What would I do differently next time?”
“What conclusions were made during this event?”
“What decisions were made during this event?”
“What resolutions were made during this event?”
“What were the consequences of this?”
“What would you have to believe in order to have this problem?”
“What would you have to feel in order to have this emotion?”
“What would have to be true?”
“What does this mean to you?”
“What have you learned from the experience?”
“What are you having trouble letting go of?”
“What are you still holding on to/avoiding/resisting/withdrawing from?”
“What did you become as a result of this experience?”
“What is the worst part of having this problem?”


Who Questions

“Whose problem is it?” Are you trying to change someone else?
“Who is involved in the problem?”
“If you are ( ), who are you ( ) with?”
“Who taught you this?”
“Who have you become as a result of this experience?”


Why Questions

“If you are ( ), why are you ( )?”
“Why has this problem impacted your life?” (relationships, health, financial, social, work)
“Why did you react that way?”
“Why did you believe that as a result?”
“Why did you feel that?”
“Why do you think this happened?”


When Questions

“If you are ( ), when did you first feel this ( )?”
“When was the last time you felt like this (have this emotional feeling)?” What does this remind you of?
“When was the earliest time you remember having this (….)”


How Questions

“How do you know you’ve got a problem?”
Do you have emotions that tell you that you have a problem?
Does your body tell you this is a problem (legs shaking, hands clenched, heart racing or restricted?)
“How did that make you feel?”
“How is that a problem to you?”
“If this sensation in your body has a movement, how would you describe this movement?”
When using this line of questioning, keep referring back to determine if the colour, shape, size etc has changed.
“How has this problem impacted your life?” (relationships, health, financial, social, work)
“How long did the problem/event last?”
“How can / did I apply this in my life?”
“How do you know that it feels/looks/tastes/etc ……?” “How do you know?”
“How has your childhood affected you today?”
“How often is this a problem?”
“How did you interpret that?”
“How did the other person feel?”
“How do you think it happened from the other person’s viewpoint?”
“How did your attitude/viewpoint/belief/values change?”
“How has this problem impacted your life in the past/present and how do you see it impacting your future?”
“How does this problem serve you?”
“How often did this happen?”
“How intense is it right now?”

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Describing

Now we have seen that being specific is important in EFT. It is also useful to be as descriptive as possible. You go deeper and get better results by being more detailed in your description of the problem.

Create a mental picture. Bring in as many sensory inputs as possible: sight, sound, taste, feel/touch, smell.

DescribingProblem

Compare for example the following statement:

“Even though I feel anxious….” (a global statement) to
“Even though I feel this cold black anxiety in my heart…” (a more specific statement)


Colour

If this problem had a colour, what colour would that be?”

Black, black and white, blue, brown, burgundy, colourless, copper, crimson, dark, gold, grey, green, indigo, lavender, light, multi-coloured, navy, opaque, orange, pewter, pink, purple, red, scarlet, silver, violet, white, yellow…


Feel/Texture

If this problem had a feel or texture, how would you describe that?

Achy, acute, airy, barbed, blubber, blunt, bony, bristly, broken glass, calm, chalky, crisp, cutting, doughy, fibrous, fine, firm, flaky, fleshy, fluffy, fragile, furry, gooey, grainy/granular, gravely, gristly, gritty, hard, hairy, intense, juicy, leathery, liquid, lonely, lumpy, meaty, meshy, needle-like, niggly, oily, padded, papery, powdery, pressure, prickly, ribbed, rough, rubbery, sandy, satin like, sharp, silky, slack, slimy, sinewy, soft, smooth, spiky, springy, spiny, starchy, stinging, squishy, stretchy, stringy, stuck, tarry, tender, thorny, throbbing, tight, tingly, tough, uncomfortable, unbearable, unhealthy, velvety, viscous, waxy, woolly, woody, woven…


Form

If this problem had a form, how would you describe that form?

Angular, askew, balanced, bent, biased, bleached, blemished, bloated, blotchy, blurred, blunt, bony, bright, brittle, broad, buckled, bulky, cavernous, chunky, clammy, clotted, cloudy, compressed, concealed, concrete like, condensed, contorted, covered, crinkled, crisp, crooked, crude, crumbly, crystalline, curvy, deep, dehydrated, delicate, dense, defected, deformed, dirty, disproportionate, dull, drab, dry, elastic, elegant, empty, enclosed, expanding, explosive, exposed, even, faded, fat, fibrous, flat, flaccid, flabby, flaky, fleshy, flexible, floppy, fluid, foggy, fragile, fragmented, gaseous, gaunt, glittery, glossy, glowing, gnarled, grotesque, haggard, hard, hazy, heavy, intact, jagged, jelly, knotty, layered, leaden, lean, limpid, light, liquid, long, loose, lopsided, malleable, mangled, matted, melting, misshapen, misty, moist, mousy, muggy, multi-layered, murky, narrow, new, notched, obscure, old, opaque, open, oppressive, orderly, pale, plain, plastic, pliable, pointed, polished, prickly, ragged, razor, ready to burst, regular, resistant, ribbed, rigid, ropy, rubbery, serrated, shadowy, shady, shallow, sharp, sheer, shiny, short, skewed, slight, smashed, smoky, smooth, snug, soft, soggy, solid, spacious, springy, spongy, steely, strained, stretchy, straight, stringy, strong, stunted, supple, swollen, tall, thick, thin, tight, tranquil, transparent, trim, tubular, twinkling, twisted, ugly, unbreakable, undulating, uneven, unified, uniform, unpolished, unyielding, varnished, vast, warped, washed out, wavy, weathered, webbed, weighty, wet, willowy, wiry, wispy, wobbly, wonky, woven, wrapped, wrinkled, yielding…


Movement

If this problem moved, how would you describe that movement?

Agitating, banging, buzzing, erratic, fast, flowing, fluid, motionless, moving, orderly, pinching, pulsing, meandering around, rotating, slicing, sliding, spasmodic, speeding, spinning, stabbing, stationary, straight, swinging to and fro, swishing, throbbing, trembling, trickling, twitching, vibrating, vortex, wavy, whirling, wriggling…


Position

If you focus on the feeling in your body, where is this problem being felt or held?


Shape

If this problem had a shape to it, how would you describe that shape?

2-dimensional, 3-dimensional, angular, asymmetrical, ball, blob, circular, crater, crescent, curved, cylindrical, distorted, flat, linear, melon, nugget, obelisk, oval, pyramid, rectangular, rock, round, sphere, square, star, symmetrical, triangular, tubular, wavy…


Size

How would you describe the size of this problem?

Ample, boulder, bulky, chubby, considerable, enormous, extensive, fair-sized, fat, huge, gigantic, grain of sand, great, immense, jumbo, large, massive, minute, monstrous, monumental, narrow, nugget, obese, pebble, pinpoint, short, slight, small, substantial, titanic, vast, weightless


Smell

Does this problem have a smell associated with it?

Acrid, bad, bad egg, dead, fetid, fishy, foul, musty, noxious, of decay, off, pungent, putrid, rancid, reeking, rotten, sickly, spicy, stale, stinky, strong, terrible, toxic, unpleasant, yucky…


Sound

Does the problem make a sound?

Beating, bellowing, blaring, braying, buzzing, chattering, chiming, chorus, clapping, crackling, crying, discordant, droning, echoing, gong, harmonious, humming, jingling, loud, melodious, moaning, muffled, musical, muted, ping, popping, rattling, ringing, screaming, screeching, silent, sizzling, snapping, sobbing, soft, soundproof, squealing, squeaking, tapping, thumping, ticking, tinkling, tuneful, twang, voices, wailing, wheezing, whining, whirring, whispering, whistling, whizzing, yelling…


Temperature

Does this problem have any temperature associated with it?

Arctic, baking, biting, blazing, blistering, boiling, burning, chilly, cold, cool, feverous, fiery, freezing, frigid, frosty, frozen, hot, icy, inflamed, luke-warm, molten, nippy, parched, piping hot, roasting, scalding, scorching, searing, smoking, sweltering, tepid, warm…


Time

Another way of getting more specific is to narrow down the timeframe the issue occurred. Here are some questions to help with this line of thinking:

“When was the first time this occurred in your life?”
“When was the most intense time this occurred?”
“What was the worst moment?”
“When did you feel most overwhelmed?”
“What specific time did this occur – morning, noon, afternoon, night?”
“What was happening at the time this first occurred?”
“How long has this been a problem?”
“How long did the problem/event last?”
“Why did it occur at this time?” What other things were happening that made the problem happen at this particular time?


You

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes” – Gandhi

“The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates

How does having this problem make you feel?

Aimless, a failure, a piece of meat, abandoned, abnormal, absurd, abused, abysmal, adrift, aggressive, aggrieved, agitated, aloof, alone, an outsider, angry, annoyed, anxious, apathetic, ass, assaulted, awful, babyish, bad, battered, beaten down, belittled, below par, beside oneself, betrayed, bizarre, bitchy, bitter, blasé, bleak, blinded, blocked, blue, bound up, brittle, broken, bruised, burdened, caged in, careless, cautious, cheap, cheerless, cheesed-off, childish, choice-less, closed down, clumsy, cold, colourless, contracted, cowardly, cranky, crazy, crestfallen, crippled, cross, cursed, cynical, damned, dazed, deadlocked deceived, defeated, defective, dejected, dependent, depressed, deranged, deserted, despair, despondent, destroyed, dirty, disappointed, disconnected, discontented, discouraged, disillusioned, disliked, disobedient, displeased, distant, distorted, distracted, distressed, dominated, doomed, dopey, doubtful, downbeat, drained, dreary, dull, edgy, embarrassed, empty, enraged, evil, exhausted, exasperated, excluded, failure, false, fatigued, fearful, feeble, filthy, flaccid, flat, forlorn, foolish, frail, frenzied, friendless, frightened, frustrated, furious, gloomy, glum, graceless, grim, guilty, hardened, haunted, heavy-hearted, helpless, heavy, hellish, hindered, hopeless, humiliated, hurt, ignorant, ill, ill-treated, immaterial, impaired, impotent, imprisoned, impure, incensed, incomplete, indifferent, inelegant, inert, infected, inferior, infuriated, indifferent, insane, insecure, insubstantial, insufficient, in turmoil, irritated, isolated, ignorant, immature, insolent, invisible, irritable, judged, judgemental, laughing stock, lethargic, like crying, livid, lonely, lost, mean, mean-spirited, mediocre, melancholic, miffed, mixed up, mortified, murderous, nauseous, needy, negative, neglected, negligent, nervous, not human, not respected, not right, obligated, old, outcast, overwhelmed, pained, peeved, penalised, pessimistic, petty, powerless, prickly, pulverized, punished, queasy, rage, rash, rejected, resentful, restless, restrained, revolting, ridiculed, ridiculous, ruined, sad, savage, self-hatred, self-rejection, separate, shamed, shut down, sick, silly, slaughtered, slow, sluggish, small, smothered, sorrow, spaced out, speechless, spiritless, stalled, stressed, strained, stripped bear, struggling, stupid suffering, sullen, tense, terrified, testy, tired, tormented, toxic, trapped, traumatised, trivial, troubled, unacknowledged, unappreciated, unattractive, unbalanced, uncertain, unclean, unclear, uncomfortable, under siege, undesirable, undone, uneasy, unfortunate, ungracious, unhappy, unhealthy, unloved, unlucky, unpleasant, unprepared, unresponsive, unsafe, unsatisfactory, unsettled, unstable, upset, unskilled, unwanted, unwell, used, useless, violated, violent, voiceless, vulnerable, washed up, weak, weary, weepy, winded, wiped out, withdrawn, wooden, worked over, worn out, worried, worthless, wounded, wretched, wrong, vengeful, victim, visionless, vulnerable, zoned out…

When I gave my husband this script to read over, he importantly said I had forgotten F@@@ off, pissed and pissed off! I’m sure there are more @#@# words you could use – I’ll leave that to you to be as creative as you feel!

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Slow it down and give in to Silence

Allow yourself the gift of silence to listen to your body, to your thoughts, to look inward. Close your eyes, turn off the phone, the radio, the TV. How does that feel to disconnect yourself from your busy world? When you give yourself the gift of silence you can allow whatever needs to come up to be heard.

Are you so busy that you don’t allow yourself to feel silence?

Does silence scare you?

Do you surround yourself with friends, family, music, TV, general busyness, so you don’t have any opportunity to slow down and sit in silence, to listen to yourself?

Do you feel you don’t deserve the time to yourself to allow for silence?

“Even though I don’t want to sit in silence, because I am scared of what may come up….”

“Even though silence scares me, I won’t know what to do ….”

Silence can also be used between the points that you tap on. Work with each point, tapping only on that point, and allow whatever to come up. Move on to the next point when you feel you need to. Slow down the tapping process and allow silence to be part of the tapping process.

How does it feel to slow the process down – scary, disquieting, fearful, or calming?

“Even though I have too much to do, and I need to do this EFT quickly…”

“Even though slowing down scares me….”

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Shoulds and Should Nots

The existence of “shoulds” and “should nots” in your self-talk may indicate that a truth is not being acknowledged or accepted or is being resisted.

These statements may help you acknowledge the truth or “what is”:

“Even though I shouldn’t be judging (person), the truth is that is exactly how I feel right now”.

“Even though I should feel (feeling), the truth is that I feel (feeling)”

“Even though I should say…, the truth is that I want to say …”

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Permission

Have you given yourself permission to be free of this “problem”?

“Even though I have not yet given myself permission to …”

Move to positive choices (refer to Pat Carrington for her in-depth creation of including Choices to the EFT process).

“I give myself permission to be free of (problem, feeling)…”

Give yourself permission to be petty, vindictive and angry. Let yourself go. Don’t censor your feelings, accept them and go with what comes up.

Have you given yourself permission to feel what you feel?

“I give myself permission to be feeling (feeling)”

“I give myself permission to (state whatever you want). It might be wealthy, relaxed, worry free, the list is endless.

“I give myself permission to speak my (feelings, thoughts, truth).”

If the opposite position is strong and does not diminish, you may need to acknowledge that and tap on:

“Even though I have not yet given myself permission to _______ “ (followed by the positive version)

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Safety

Have you addressed any safety issues around your problem? Safety concerns are common with anxiety-related conditions, and those with chronic pain. Safety and control are closely linked. Often the reason we feel unsafe is because we are unable to control the situation, and that feeling of not being in control feels very uncomfortable and unsafe for us.

“Even though in order to be safe I had to be invisible…”

While you may have experienced fear at some point for a very good reason, keeping you safe and out of harm’s way, when the fear is being triggered long after the experience, it can keep you from moving forward.

“It is not safe for me to speak my truth.”

“It is not safe for me to express my feelings.”

“It is not safe for me to get over this fear of (problem).”

“It is not safe for me to get over (problem).”

Ask yourself “What did I want to say at that time, but couldn’t?” Tap all around saying what you wanted to say.

Once the intensity of the negative statement has come down, alternate it with a positive statement “It is safe for me to speak my truth.”

“This happened, it’s over, and I’m okay. I can relax and feel safe now.”

Or

“This is happening and I’m okay.” While you might not be okay with what is happening, the reference to “I’m okay” refers to that part of you, not affected by the problem.

“Even though I don’t feel safe because I can’t control ….”
“Even though it scares me that I can’t control…”

When did you last feel out of control like this?

“Even though I am afraid of what I am going to find out about myself and that makes me feel unsafe and out of control….”

What about safety for the other person? If I get over this (problem), will that put any other person in danger?

If I speak my truth, will that cause problems for (another person)?

“Even though I need to speak my truth, and this doesn’t feel safe for me or (another person), I choose to find a way to speak my truth feeling both safe and protected.”

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Acknowledging What Is

When the problem doesn’t seem to be lessening in intensity, it may be that there is denial or resistance to accepting “what is”.

“I acknowledge that I have problem.”

“I acknowledge that (this situation exists).”

“I acknowledge that (this happened).”

“I acknowledge that a part of me is resisting this change.”

“I acknowledge that part of me is terrified of this problem.”

Once you feel that you can acknowledge what is, you may feel like moving to accepting what is. Try re-doing the above statements, substituting acknowledge with accept.

In the setup, fully acknowledge and accept what you are dealing with.

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Acceptance

Acceptance, of yourself foremost, but also of others, is a vital concept in moving forward in your own healing.

  • Accept ownership of your emotions
  • Accept responsibility for your emotional healing
  • Accept what is coming up now
  • Accept what you are dealing with
  • Accept that you have this problem/feeling/emotion/belief (even if you don’t want to accept this problem/feeling/emotion/belief, because if it’s there, then it’s there and you may as well accept it!
  • Accept the role that you have played in this problem
  • Accept the role that others have played in this problem
  • Accept where you are, right now

Don’t fight it, what you resist, persists.

“Even though I don’t accept that I have this problem…”

“Even though I don’t accept the responsibility for my own healing, I want someone else to do the work, not me…”

“Even though I don’t want to accept what I (feel, see, believe, sense)…”

“Even though I don’t want to have to deal with …”

“Even though I don’t want to accept my part of/in this problem….

As you work through these issues, you can then move to:

“Even though (this happened), I deeply and completely accept all of myself, without judgement, and unconditionally.”

“Even though I have this problem, I accept all of myself as I am.”

“Even though (this occurred, or was done to me), I deeply and completely accept myself as I was then and as I am now.”

If you can’t say the setup statement “I deeply and completely accept myself”, Jane Buckman suggests adding on “and my humanness”. When we allow ourselves to be human, and not perfect, we allow compassion and acceptance of who we are, right now, to come into being.

It’s not about the fighting / putting up with / going to war against the “problem”, it’s about the surrender and acceptance that this “problem” exists.

Thank the body for allowing you to see this “problem” and show gratitude.

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Parts Statements

Peter Graham works a lot with parts. He suggests that if you are not ready to state “accept all” then consider saying the following statements “I acknowledge this part of me…”, “I accept this part of me…”,
“I acknowledge and accept this part of me…”, and finally, when you feel able, go to “I love this part of me….”

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Carer Statements

Since this site is dedicated to Caring for Carers, I’d like to go to the article by Gene Monterastelli called “EFT/Tapping For Parents with Autistic (ASD) and Special Needs Children” which has some excellent tappable statements.  Gene has since updated that article to his eBook called “EFT for ASD – A Parent’s Guide” which goes into more depth.  You can access this eBook here.


General Emotions

  • This is never going to change
  • I am always going to carry this burden
  • If my child gets any better, it’s only going to be for a short time
  • Things are only going to get worse

Myself

  • I want a normal life
  • This is my fault
  • I did something wrong, and this is God’s way of punishing me
  • I don’t deserve this burden
  • I deserve a normal life
  • I did something wrong to deserve this
  • I am missing out on many things because of the special attention my child needs
  • I never have time for myself
  • I am constantly overwhelmed
  • I think I am a bad parent
  • There are things I could have done to prevent this
  • I feel alone in this struggle
  • No one really knows what I am going through

Child

  • I feel bad that I think my child is a burden
  • I feel bad that I think my child’s condition is a burden

Family/Friends/Others

  • I can’t be present to my spouse because I give so much attention to my child
  • I don’t get any support from my family
  • I don’t get any support from my friends
  • My family thinks I am a bad parent
  • My friends think I am a bad parent
  • My child’s teacher thinks I am a bad parent
  • My child’s principal thinks I am a bad parent
  • My child’s school counsellor thinks I am a bad parent
  • The school system thinks I am a bad parent
  • Strangers in public think I am a bad parent
  • This is putting a strain on my relationship with my spouse
  • This is going to end my marriage
  • I am depriving my other children by giving this one so much attention
  • My other children are missing out on the attention they need

Treatment

  • I can’t try any new treatments because I am going to get my hopes up, have it fail and be let down again
  • I am overwhelmed by all the treatment options
  • I am not smart enough to understand what is going on in my child
  • I am not smart enough to understand all the treatment options
  • I am afraid I am going to make poor choices about my child’s treatment options

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Secondary Gains

Secondary gains refers to the concept that having your problem may in some way serve you. It’s not a very comfortable or acceptable concept to most people. Although there may, consciously, appear to be no reason to keep this problem, unconsciously you may have some need to hold onto it.

How is this problem serving me?

Secondary Gains

“Even though this problem may be/is serving me…”

Do you want to get over this problem?
“Even though I am not sure I want to get over this problem…”
“Even though a part of me doesn’t want to get over this problem…”

“Even though I am not sure how my life would be if I got over this problem…”
“Even though getting over this problem would mean I might be expected to do more/be more/participate more/be more exposed/be more available/have more demanded of me…”

What new problem(s) would come into my life if I got over this problem?

What are the benefits of me having this problem?
“Even though there are benefits, even if I don’t/can’t see the benefits of having this problem…” Benefits might include that I don’t have to engage, participate, move forward, change my life etc.

Do you feel you will do what it takes to deal with all of this problem?
“Even though I’m not sure I have the strength/courage/dedication/patience/wisdom/knowledge/skills etc to deal with all of this problem…”

“Even though I am not able to heal…” “Even though I don’t think I have the capability to do this healing…”

“Even though I am not willing to heal…” “Even though I don’t think I should be the one to heal, otherwise people may forget what I went through, and I might lose my identity…”

“Even though I’m not worthy of being healed…”
“Even though I have done something wrong, and I need to suffer in order to be punished…”

Carol Look asks, “what is the downside to getting over this problem?” This can often get people angry, because they don’t (consciously) see any downside. If that feels like a difficult question, ask “what is the upside to holding onto this problem”. Are you getting more attention, money, love, recognition, loyalty, safety?

Is this problem part of your identity?

If our needs are getting met by having this problem, then that is what we are going to have/do.

When were you last at your best i.e. didn’t have this problem?

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Persistence, Persistence, Persistence

  • If progress is slow, shift your intent (while tapping) to fully accepting the problem or feeling without resistance, rather than trying to get rid of it.
  • It may mean tapping daily for weeks or months, especially if you are working on a multi-faceted, multi-aspect problem.
  • Try continuous tapping at every opportunity; watching TV, sitting in the car at the red lights, travelling by public transport (within reason!)
  • Alternative the tapping with different hands
  • Alternative with tapping different sides of the body
  • Try using both hands at the same time
  • Just DONT GIVE UP
  • If you find you have tried and tried, it may be worth looking for an experienced EFT practitioner – new eyes on the problem can make a difference. Make sure you ask if they have had experience dealing with your type of problem. If you don’t find it works with the person you selected, don’t give up, try another practitioner. I may be a matter of trial and error to find someone you click with.

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Beliefs / Writings on the Wall

We become very attached to our “stuff” – we identify with it, it is our story, we feel it defines who we are, where we see ourselves in the world. However, if we don’t question it, always accepting that our stuff makes us who we are, and impenetrable to change, then we will never change. We must find the courage to look at our stuff to see if it has real value to us.

Types of Beliefs

Types of beliefs:

If we say its 100% true, we never update that idea, never revisit it again. However, if we think possibly, or probably true (i.e. not 100%), we can revisit. Beliefs are just thoughts that we think over and over.

What are your expectations/assumptions/judgements (conscious or otherwise) as a result of having a particular belief? Listen to your self-talk.

All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.

Byron Katie has an excellent summary of universal beliefs that make terrific tappable issues.

“What is actually silly/ridiculous about this belief?”
“What has this belief already cost me?”
“How has this belief limited me in the past?”
“What could this belief cost me in future if I don’t change now?”
“Where does this belief come from?”
“When did I learn this belief?” (time frame)
“Was there one incident that gave me this belief, or one main incident that gave me this belief?”
“Who would I be if I didn’t believe this?” (Byron Katie)
“Was the person I learned this belief from the best role model?”
“Was my perspective at the time that I took on this belief the best perspective? What if I took on a belief as a child, is that belief still relevant as an adult?”

My Belief

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be divided into 3 parts:

1. Forgiving yourself
2. Forgiving others
3. Absolving anyone you blamed for the problem

It is important to realise that forgiveness does not condone what has been done. Forgiveness allows you to release the negative energy that ties you to the other person(s), which, until released, will hold you both together in an unhealthy relationship.

The process of forgiveness does not mean you need to be friends with that person. It might be unhealthy to continue to have any relationship with that person. Whatever you do must be for your own safety and health.

Have you forgiven yourself for your role in this problem – as an adult and as a child?

“Even though I should have helped…. I was only a little girl, and I forgive myself for dealing with it in the way that I did.”

Do you need to forgive everyone you have blamed for this problem, including God (replace with what feels right to you), and yourself?

Do you feel you need to apologise to everyone that you may have hurt?

“There’s a misconception that forgiveness is the right you give the other person. Really, it’s the right you give yourself, the freedom from carrying and burning all that energy. An unwillingness to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So, do whatever it takes for your own sake, because forgiveness does not let someone else off the hook. It lets you off the hook you put yourself on”. – James Arthur Ray

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Test, Test and Test Again

Okay, you’ve done a few rounds of tapping. Your SUDs level has gone down. You’re feeling better. Now you need to test the issue to see if you really have experienced true relief.

There are several ways to test. One way is to find a live example of the situation. In our example much further above, where we discussed aspects, you might test how seeing a spider in real life affects you. Obviously, only test SAFELY!

Another way to test is called the Movie Technique.


The Movie Technique

Recall the problem. We are going to make this into a movie, but it needs to be a short movie, say 5 minutes in duration. You are looking at identifying the “peak” part of the problem, where there is the maximum amount of emotion around it, but we start this movie before at a non-intense part.

Give this movie a title e.g. “This spider movie”.

Now rate this “this spider movie” by running the whole movie (silently) in your mind, quickly from start to finish. Note your SUDs level for how you are feeling NOW while telling this movie.

Do 3 rounds of EFT on “this spider movie”. It will help take the edge off.

Now out loud, tell the movie, starting before any real intensity. Stop the moment you feel any increase in SUDs. Use EFT here. Then continue telling the movie, stopping at each intense point to do more EFT until the end of the movie. You might have to tell the movie several times, each time stopping to do EFT on any increase in intensity.

Finally, try increasing the volume of this movie. Make it stand out in vivid colour, imagine the movie playing very close to you, or more loudly. Silently tell the movie again. At this point you should be able to run the movie through its entirety and it no longer affects you. If anything continues to come up, use EFT to neutralise any points.

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When EFT Doesn’t seem to be Working

Here are some thoughts to consider if EFT doesn’t seem to be working:

  • Does the problem seem to be too big?
    • “I don’t believe I can get over this problem.”
    • “It’s too hard for me to get over this problem.”
  • You may be dehydrated – drink water (not coffee, tea, beer, wine or spirits!)
  • You may be too tired. Consider leaving it for a while and have another go when you are more energised.
  • Be more specific. Ask yourself “am I tapping on ALL the aspects of the problem?”
  • Make sure you are tuning in to what is happening NOW.
  • Say everything with more intensity/passion. Find something to get mad about, stop being nice. Yell, scream, use body language, (punch the air, hit a pillow).
  • Consider that there might be safety issues (not feeling comfortable or safe to express emotions).
  • You may have moved to a new aspect and need to place your focus there.
  • You may need to be more persistent.
  • Guess/imagine/make up a reason why it’s not working.
  • Tap on “Even though EFT doesn’t work for me” or “Even though EFT isn’t working for me now”, or “This stuff never works for me.”
  • Speed up the tapping.
  • Slow the down tapping, focusing very deliberately on each point.
  • Tap with your non-dominant hand.
  • Tap with both hands. You might like to try tapping with both hands on both sides of the body at the same time (one hand tapping on the left eyebrow point, one hand tapping on the right eyebrow point), or try tapping with both hands, but don’t do the tapping in sync. This gets both sides of the brain involved.
  • Sing your phrase (singing accesses the right hemisphere of the brain, which may help if you are trying too hard to understand (left hemisphere)).
  • Tap on “What will have to happen or change before I can release this problem?”
  • Tap at different times of the day.
  • Consider seeing a professional EFT practitioner.
  • Ask yourself “What is the payoff for not getting over this problem?” (secondary gains)
  • Do you feel you don’t deserve to get over this problem? “Even though I don’t deserve to get over this problem.”
  • Do you feel it isn’t safe to get over this problem? “Even though it isn’t safe for me to get over this problem.”
  • What is the downside of getting over this problem?
  • What do you feel is the hidden issue?
  • Maybe you have to change if you get over this problem?
  • Maybe more will be expected of you?
  • Maybe you will attract attention you don’t want?
  • Maybe if you get over this problem, you won’t have anything in common with your friends?
  • Does getting over this problem feel dangerous for you?
  • If you could live your life over again, what person or event would you prefer to skip? If you don’t know, what would it be – just guess?

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In Conclusion

At the end of the day, this EFT process is about You and your own healing. Your level of engagement in the process will determine, in part, the level of success you achieve. Your intention is very important. The more you put in, the more you will get out.

This is not the place to be politically correct, and to “do the right thing” by yourself and others. There is no right or wrong here, just “what is”. You owe no-one anything, this is all for you.

Create a judgment-free space to play and heal. Make sure you feel safe to be completely honest with yourself, making sure there are no negative consequences as a result of your honesty.

It takes courage to be responsible for your own feelings and thoughts. When you take personal responsibility for them, you don’t play the blame game, and you don’t give away your power.

Be with what you are feeling now.
Say it like you feel it.
Say it like you mean it.
Shout it, swear, scream – express yourself with complete honesty – Don’t hold back.
Move like you mean it – punch the air or the pillow if that is how you feel, don’t hold back on your body language (safety considered, no point in breaking a toe as you kick the wall!)
Don’t judge – there is no need to feel any shame, guilt or embarrassment.
Don’t intellectualise. Don’t think/analyse about it, don’t let the feelings turn into thinking.
Learn to get yourself out of the way.

Be willing to try, and possibly fail, and try again.

We have within ourselves the ability to heal ourselves.

“Unless the answer comes from within, it has little to no meaning for the person, and worse, there is no ownership of the solution.” – Ann Adams

However, if you don’t seem to be making any headway, then consider seeking the services of a good EFT practitioner. While the answers may lie within you, it sometimes takes someone not intimately identified with the problem to help us see the real issues. A good EFT practitioner will, without judgement, help you to bring to consciousness your own answers.

We become very attached to “our stuff”. We own it, it is who we are, our identity – or so we think.

Respect yourself. Don’t make an identity for yourself out of it. Get yourself out of the way.

Stay present and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.

Like Alice in Wonderland, ask yourself – “Are you willing to go down the rabbit hole and find the root cause?”p

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Acknowledgements and Resources

I would like to acknowledge the following people who have contributed to my understanding of EFT and made my life better for this knowledge:

Gary Craig

Gary Craig, founder of EFT, for bringing EFT so generously to the world.

Peter Graham

Peter Graham, EFT Master and friend, whom I did EFT training in Levels 1 to 3.  His workshops, conducted in Perth, Australia are very good.

Steve Wells

Steve Wells, who I worked with for several years and whose process SET has added to my knowledge.

Carol Look

Carol Look, a brilliant EFT Master, who is eloquent and insightful and whose work I greatly admire.

Pat Carrington

Pat Carrington, creator of the Choices Method, expanding on how EFT can be used.

Nick and Jessica Ortner

Nick and Jessica Ortner, who are taking EFT to the world with their generosity and enthusiasm.  Their free EFT summits are worth subscribing to.

Gene Monterastelli

Gene Monterastelli for his generosity to include material on this website, and whose article published in 2009 (“Helping parents whose children have autism”, recently renamed “EFT/Tapping For Parents with Autistic (ASD) and Special Needs Children” opened my mind to how I could work on my own issues.

Gwenn Bonnell

Gwenn Bonnell, who has very generously allowed me to include her excellent chart of the tapping points.

Rehana Webster

Rehana Webster, EFT Master and friend, and developer of Trauma Busters Technique (TBT).

Dr Joseph Mercola

Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP)

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Disclaimer

While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered experimental and therefore the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it. This website is not intended as a substitute for the medical recommendations of physicians or other health-care providers.

FURTHER,
The information provided on this website is to help expand the use of EFT. This web page represents the ideas of the author – Tracy Stoves – and does not necessarily represent those of Gary Craig, the founder of EFT.

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